📧 PivotList: Compassion and the Overzealous Cake Baker 🍰

🌊 What are your unique ingredients for finding a flow state?

Hi Friends,

Over at Rolling in Doh, I recently wrote about the parable of The Overzealous Cake Baker. It was after an aha moment when I realized:

“It didn’t matter what she wanted to give, what she should give, what others wanted her to give, what other people like her could give, what she used to be able to give, or how shiny the shoulds were. She simply didn’t have it—at least not right now. And so, she couldn’t give it. The math was as simple as that. No more, no less. You can’t give what you don’t have.”

It was during a time when I realized that although my compassion and people-pleasing tendencies were on high alert, it was draining my energy to respond to everyone else’s needs above my own.

So far in this Strengthscope series on what brings you most alive at work we’ve looked at collaboration and common sense. This week, we’ll explore compassion. Is this an energizer or a drainer for you?

Keep reading to find out . . .

💪 Strengthscope Deep Dive: Compassion

Is compassion an energizer or a drainer for you?

Scenario: Friends and colleagues often come to you with challenges in hopes that you can provide a listening ear and helpful perspective on their problems. You’re such a good listener, after all! And you always know just the right thing to say or a resource to suggest. Are you energized by requests like this, or do they leave you drained?

Via Never Say Invisible on How to Prevent Caregiver Burnout

🔋 If compassion energizes you, one of your guiding lights is helping others. It’s not just that you’re good at it (that’s a competency strength); it’s that being helpful to others gives you energy.

• Who annoys you: People who don’t respond appropriately to the emotional needs of others. They might show indifference, lack of concern, or clumsiness with regard to others’ feelings and well-being.

• Who is annoyed by you: Analytical and task-based people may see you as weak and unnecessarily caring when dealing with people’s feelings and personal problems. They could see you as allowing yourself to be taken advantage of, or an “agony aunt” who people become dependent on.

🥵 When in overdrive: You may allow people to take advantage of you; compassion can sometimes tip into high-functioning codependency, burnout, and compassion fatigue. Beware of getting taken advantage of or deferring to others to the point of never asking for (or getting) what you want and need.

• Self-check by asking: My compassion energizer makes me want to help everyone all the time—is that important in this situation and do I have the energy for it, or do I need to say no and/or set a healthy boundary? See also: You can’t give what you don’t have.

🪫 If compassion is a drainer for you: You resent feeling forced into helping those who you believe should be helping themselves. You have limited capacity for dealing with other people’s problems, and even if you had the time, you often feel drained afterward.

• Reframe it by reflecting: What ways of being helpful do energize me? How can I be there for loved ones and team members in a way that honors my needs too?

📊 Get to Know Your Significant Seven Energy-Strengths

If you found this helpful and want to dive deeper into the 24 energy-strengths, including an assessment that will show your biggest energizers and drainers:

• Individuals: Take the Strengthscope assessment and join us for a 90-minute Upgrade Your Energy workshop on December 5. Register here » (Paying subscribers: scroll down below the footer for your special extra-discounted link!)

• Teams: If you work within an organization and have the budget to run this as an in-person half-day team-building workshop, we have two spots remaining this quarter and three open for Q1 2025. Learn more and inquire here »

📆 Upcoming Events for Paying Subscribers

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✍️ Write the Thing! First Wednesday of the next three months: Join us for the first co-working session tomorrow Wednesday, October 2, from 1pm ET to 1:45pm ET.

💻 Quarterly Office Hours — November 20: Ask me anything, connect with fellow Pivoters, and talk through your pivot-in-progress.

• Want to join us? See the footer (below the paywall) for the link. Upgrade your membership here »

🎙 Related episode from the Pivot archives

Although the podcast is paused, you can still browse the archives and subscribe here »

239: Resilience and Compassion Fatigue with Colleen Pelar

357: Addressing the Mental Health Challenges of Doing Humanitarian Work with Dimple Dhabalia

Want help exploring your biggest energy-strengths and how you can leverage them for your pivot-in-progress? Learn more and sign-up for Pivot coaching here »

That’s it for now . . . thank you for reading and listening!

❤️  With Love, 

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